


a / lone

by ianplease



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Alternate Universe - After College/University, Friends With Benefits, Kozume Kenma & Kuroo Tetsurou Friendship, M/M, Med Student Kuroo Tetsurou, Mutual Pining, Professor Sugawara Koushi, Snippets of NSFW, Tags to Follow
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-01-03
Updated: 2020-12-18
Packaged: 2021-02-27 12:14:02
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 11,182
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22096948
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ianplease/pseuds/ianplease
Summary: Kuroo Tetsurou and Sugawara Koushi cross paths once again after university but this time, things take a different turn from what they were expecting.
Relationships: Kuroo Tetsurou/Sugawara Koushi
Comments: 15
Kudos: 45





	1. crossed paths

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> listen to mitski's nobody for better effect for this chapter 1/2 jk ; rating for later chapters.

Parties post-college were an entirely new world. Managing to match your schedules with your friends was almost impossible and when it _did_ happen, it was a once in a blue moon event, _especially_ if these parties pushed through with almost everyone there. 

Here, Sugawara Koushi found himself invited to a party by one of his university friends, Morisuke Yaku. He was stressed out from work— checking papers wasn't an easy feat— and grad school was hell so he took the opportunity to unwind. It wasn’t the type of college parties he would frequent as a student; this party was a small get together with different friends from university at a bar. It was a relatively small bar at one of the central business districts and he assumed Yaku made a reservation since there were probably around 10-ish other people going as well. Though Sugawara wasn’t too familiar with the other people going, he decided to throw all caution to the wind and just attend. He wanted to drink and socialize; be an actual human with a social life. Talking to people--new and old-- wasn’t too bad of an idea.

Sugawara wasn’t the first person at the party and he was thankful for that. It was the sweet spot that he found when it came to coming to events; he never liked being too early but he didn’t like being late either. While the party was still starting to warm up, he caught up with Yaku, asking him about how life was. He found out that Yaku was still playing volleyball but casually now since the latter did mountain climbing more as an active hobby. Yaku managed to find that balance between work-life balance, from office and field work, to having fun with friends like this.

Just as more people were arriving at the bar, Yaku excused himself and Sugawara let his friend talk to more of the people who just arrived. Sugawara kept to himself at the bar, ordering a jack and coke. He observed the people whom Yaku was chatting with; they were mostly from people from other Departments in the university that he didn’t interact with too much. Though they were familiar faces, Sugawara wasn’t too sure if he should just strike conversation right off the bat given that he still felt a little tired. _Whatever,_ he thought as he drank his jack and coke. _You came here to socialize, Koushi._

Just as Sugawara was trying to fend off his tired thoughts, he was greeted by a familiar figure. He snapped out of his dazed state and examined the person who was approaching him. Messy hair and a confident stance--

“Hey, you with anyone?” the dark haired male greeted Sugawara, a little smirk was sitting on his lips. 

Sugawara couldn’t help but keep his eyes fixated on the figure who was standing by him; it was a familiar face but he couldn’t pinpoint where he met this guy. It was probably because he took that first sip of alcohol that he thought that this person looked pretty attractive. That, or his sober self was just making excuses to explain this warmth he felt spreading across his cheeks. 

“Hi!” Suga flashed one of his signature smiles at the taller male as he tried to rack his memories from where exactly the two of them met. “And I’m not with anyone; go ahead.” 

The dark haired male chuckled when he noticed Sugawara’s nose wrinkle as he smiled. He nodded at the positive response and made himself comfortable on the empty bar stool to Sugawara’s left. He took a sip of his drink before he spoke, making an introduction of sorts to the silver haired male. 

“We were classmates for a few classes before at undergrad. I remember two core subjects: political science, a literature class, and introduction to art history.” he had three fingers up from his free hand to emphasize his point.

Sugawara laughed at the gesture and nodded at this observation. Of course, how could he have forgotten? This guy stood out every group report and his professors would often commend him for his papers. They had a pair work once or twice before, but that was it. They never really talked to anything that wasn’t related to class.

“I remember, yeah! It’s amazing how you remember the exact classes right off the bat.” All the pieces in Sugawara’s memory finally fit together, which sparked a name to suddenly flash in his mind. 

“Kuroo, right?”

“Yeah,” Kuroo flashed a proud smile. “I’m glad you still remember,” he took a sip of his drink once more to clear his throat. “Sugawara, right?”

“Yep, that’s me!” Sugawara chuckled. There was something about how his name rolled off Kuroo’s tongue that he found _fascinating._ “And, well, you’re kind of hard to miss, really.”

“I’m gonna hope that’s a good thing.” Kuroo laughed, and Sugawara followed suit. Once they managed to calm down, they toasted their drinks. 

“So, what are you up to now, Kuroo?” 

“I’m a med student, so I’m still stuck studying.” he laughs. “I’m just glad Yakkun scheduled this at the time my midterms just finished so I don’t feel guilty about spending my night drinking and talking to people. Med school is all sorts of hell.”

Sugawara couldn’t help but raise his eyebrows at the nickname; it was his first time hearing it despite knowing his friend for a few years now. “Oh, you and Yaku are close?”

“Yeah, we just sort of stuck together since freshman year and until now, we’re still friends. Anyway, enough about me, what about you? What are you busy with nowadays?”  
  
“I’m a university instructor. I teach an introductory class on media studies but I’m also in grad school taking my masters, so I sort of get the busy vibe. Though, I have to admit, med school really _does_ seem like hell. How do you survive?”

Kuroo sighed and shook his head before he answered. 

“A lot of willpower, determination, and coffee. Oh, and talking to cute people like you.”

Sugawara felt himself blush at the comment and lightly punched Kuroo’s forearm.

“Don’t be silly,” he took a swig of his drink. “But honestly, you’re right. Talking to people you find attractive? That’s going to really boost your mood.” His eyes were locked with Kuroo’s as he unconsciously bit his lower lip.

Kuroo found himself blushing at the sight-- he didn’t realize his former classmate would be this forward. He didn’t complain though; if anything, he enjoyed it. 

* * *

The atmosphere started to pick up and despite the dark aesthetics of the bar, the two really seemed to radiate a sort of brightness as they continued to converse. The rest of the night, they found themselves gravitating towards each other and couldn’t keep the other out of their sight even if they were going around talking to the other people at the party. 

The two were sitting beside each other on the sofa by the corner of the bar and Sugawara was comfortably leaning against Kuroo’s forearm. The two of them were sober and munching on food that they ordered around half an hour ago.

Kuroo surprisingly didn’t drink too much and ended up sober at this point at the party. He wasn’t sure as to why, but he felt himself comfortable staying sober with Sugawara, who was in the middle of telling him all about some of the interesting stuff his students have done for his class. 

“I can’t believe they’d go through lengths to run around the university to make their point like that though?”

“Well, you know how it is, you have the most freedom when you’re still in college.”

“That’s true.” Kuroo shook his head at all the ridiculous shit he did a few years back when he was still in college and couldn’t believe he still had that much energy. “Mhm, Sugawara? Do you wanna go out after this?”

“Huh? Oh!” Sugawara was surprised at the offer; he was worried that Kuroo would want to rest but he didn’t want to pass up this opportunity to be with him. 

“Sure, why not?” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> feel free to hmu at @daichistan on twitter! i've been working on this for a while, so have something different from my usual daisuga vibe.


	2. i want you in my room

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kuroo and Suga decide to spend the night together. The morning after, the energy lingers.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> get ready for some sexy sexy kurosuga ; listen to i want you in my room by CRJ for vibes ✨

The two spent the night over at Kuroo’s condo unit, which was near the med school Kuroo was attending. Sugawara didn’t mind; after all, it wasn’t too far from where he lived and where he worked so it wasn’t out of way for him. Plus, he didn’t want to go to his apartment right away since he was bound to be interrogated by his friends on why he arrived so late. Then again, they would interrogate him either way since he didn’t go home.  _ Whatever,  _ Sugawara thought as he and Kuroo got comfortable in each other’s presence. 

It was now morning, around 7 AM, and Sugawara started to stir. He felt his body ache and this ache was something he missed; something he yearned for for quite some time. Flashbacks of the night before started to replay in his mind and he felt warmth rush to his cheeks and all the way to the tips of his ears. One way to describe the shenanigans a few hours back could be summarized into one word: wild. 

He wouldn’t have thought that he would manage to hook up again during a time in his twenties where he was busy with almost everything going on with his job and studies. Not to say it wasn’t possible, but it was something that wasn’t on his expectations for that year. The ache in his body was something he hadn’t felt in quite a while; even if it would be a bitch to deal with later, he felt like he was up on cloud nine right now. Imagine? Being held and fucked by  _ the  _ Kuroo Tetsurou only a few hours ago? He was such a lucky bitch. 

Light was filtering inside Kuroo’s apartment unit through the slightly skewed curtain blinds and Sugawara thought it was weird that he was waking up in someone else’s place. It’s not like he hasn’t done this before but given that it’s been a nearly two years since he’s last had sex like this— he couldn’t help but try and process everything as he was still lying down on Kuroo’s bed.

He rolled over to his right side and watched Kuroo sleep. Normally, he would get up and let himself into the shower and dress up after hooking up but he wanted to stay in bed a little while longer. The warmth against him was nice; he missed having this type of physical connection. He shut his eyes once more, basking in this moment-- the image of Kuroo’s sleeping face, the warmth under the sheets, the light barely filtering through the windows. He wasn’t sure when he’ll have this kind of moment again. Before he knew it, he drifted back to sleep.

Kuroo woke up some time later and stretched a little while he was still in bed. Hoisting himself up on his elbows so he could eventually sit up, he made sure he didn’t move too drastically as to wake up the silver haired male. He examined Sugawara’s sleeping face and couldn’t help but think of how almost angelic he looked. A soft smile made its way up to his lips and he felt a sort of  _ fondness  _ for Sugawara that blossomed in his chest at that moment. 

Before he knew it, Sugawara started to stir and eventually looked at him with sleepy eyes. Kuroo couldn’t help but chuckle at this and he greeted him with his bedroom voice. 

“Good morning, sleepyhead,” Sugawara couldn’t help but blush at how hoarse Kuroo’s voice was and he instinctively and stuck his tongue out at the dark haired male. Not too long after, he stretched his arms and legs before adjusting his position so he was now sitting upright, with pillows supporting his back. 

Silence filled the room as the two were quiet and trying to properly wake themselves up. Amid the silence, Kuroo was the first to speak up. 

“Do you want to do this again?” 

Sugawara wasn’t sure if he heard that properly, but once it properly registered, he felt the warmth rush to his cheeks once more. Did this mean Kuroo found him attractive enough to sleep with him again? That he enjoyed the sex last night that he wanted this  _ again _ ? Before he let his thoughts get the best of him, he managed to muster the strength to push those questions aside. With a smile, he nodded at Kuroo.

“Sure thing!” He wasn’t sure if his eyes were playing tricks on him, but he could have sworn he saw Kuroo’s eyes light up for a second. “I mean, I’m down. Do you want to exchange socials?” he reaches for his phone on the bedside table. “So, you know, we don’t have to wait for another party to meet up again.” 

The points that Sugawara brought up connected in Kuroo’s mind, so he nodded while laughing. Since Sugawara already had his phone, he reached for his own and the two proceed to exchange their phones to input their personal phone numbers and social media account handles as well. It took a while since both of them were still quite sleepy and kept making typos. In the process, both of them laugh at their mistakes and double, even triple, check if they typed in the correct information. In the middle of it all, Kuroo spoke up yet again. 

“I can’t believe we didn’t exchange other social media accounts last night.” 

“Well, we were too busy getting stuff done--” Sugawara tapped on the save button. With a triumphant smile, he handed Kuroo back his phone. “There we go. Saved my number and social media handles for your reference.”

“Yeah, you were the stuff and I gotta say, I really enjoyed doing you. Thank you,” Kuroo couldn’t help but laugh as he saw the way Sugawara’s eyes grow wide and his face grow to a deeper pink shade. Once he calmed down, he got his phone from the silver haired male’s. “So formal, Sugawara. Also, here you go.” His contacts were saved and he handed Sugawara back his phone, with the name under  _ Kuroo  _ 😘. 

Sugawara examined his phone and saw the contact name and he felt even more flustered. How was it possible that he felt like a high schooler being hit on by his long term crush now? He stuck his tongue out at Kuroo as a response as he set his phone down again. Kuroo laughed and set his phone down as well, liking how silly the energy was at that moment. 

“Really though, you’re fun. I’m looking forward to seeing you again.” Sugawara knew it wasn’t a smart idea, but he made himself comfortable against Kuroo and snuggled against him. Cuddles after sex was probably his favorite thing ever— what more with someone as attractive as Kuroo Tetsurou?

“Oh wow, so needy, huh?” Kuroo said, his voice still hoarse. His hands made themselves comfortable against Suga’s ass and he couldn’t help but give them a squeeze. He planted a few kisses against Sugawara’s neck, admiring the marks he left from the night before. 

“Can’t help it, you’re so irresistible—” Suga couldn’t help himself and adjusted, sitting atop Kuroo’s thighs. He slowly started grinding himself against the taller male and soft moans escaped his lips. “Mhm, I really want you inside me again, Kuroo— Fuck, hah—” He leaned a bit forward to reach Kuroo’s lips and they lazily shared a kiss.

Kuroo was surprised at how Sugawara was so straightforward with what he wanted; it was very different from the shy demeanor from how he knew him from before. 

“I can’t believe I had you all to myself last night,” Kuroo left another hickey on Sugawara’s neck. “So naughty—”

A breathy moan escaped Sugawara’s lips and as he was getting into the entire rhythm, a realization hit him like a truck and caused him swear and push himself off Kuroo. “FUCK—” he managed to catch himself and rolled to the side of the bed, his fingers touching his neck where the hickeys were.

“What’s the matter?” Kuroo couldn’t help but be concerned at the sudden shift in energy. “Wait, sorry shit-- Were the hickeys a bad thing?”

Sugawara shook his head and bit his lip as he got a hold of his emotions. He took a few deep breaths and adjusted himself on the bed, properly sitting down. 

“S-sorry, Kuroo. I didn’t mean to do that— The hickey aren’t bad. If anything, they’re hot.” Kuroo laughs at this and instinctively winks at Sugawara. As a reaction, Sugawara blushes harder—if that was even possible— and scrunches his eyebrows as he clears his head. 

“It’s just,” he paused. “I have classes again next week.”

Kuroo raised an eyebrow at this since it wasn’t really making a lot of sense to him. After all, it was still pretty early and his brain cells weren’t doing their best to connect the dots. “That’s not a problem, right? ”

“Don’t worry, it’s not.” Sugawara’s cheeks were now a bright pink and he shyly looked away, avoiding all eye contact from Kuroo. “I’m just worried that my students…” his voice gradually becomes softer. “Aren’t going to shut up about these hickeys if they see them”

Kuroo’s eyes widened when all the puzzle pieces fit together and he was about to apologize when the image of a flustered Sugawara came to mind, he couldn’t help but chuckle. He saw the flustered look in Sugawara’s eyes and he ended up raking his fingers through those silver locks.

“Sorry babe, my fault. I promise, next time we have sex, I won’t give you hickeys.” He pauses. “Or well, on places where most people won’t see. You’re so fucking irresistible but I’ll hold myself back, alright?” He kissed Sugawara’s forehead. “I hope that’s alright with you.”

“Goood,” Kuroo was so close, he could see the little spots on his face and how long his eyelashes were. The messy bed hair, the sleepy, hooded eyes-- Sugawara felt his heart caught in his throat. He gulped and gently exhaled through his lips. “Kuroo, don’t call me babe.” 

Kuroo raised his eyebrow at this and noticed how flustered Sugawara was being. He decided to stretch this out further and thought of more pet names and recites them aloud only for Sugawara to panic as the names progressed.

“Aw, not even baby?” Sugawara shakes his head. 

“You’re no fun. You sure liked it though when I called you my little slut last night though, huh?”

“You’re really bringing that card out, huh?” He ends up inching closer to Kuroo and looks up at him with a cheeky expression. “Are you sure you want to have another round this morning?”

This time around, Kuroo was the one caught off guard. He gulps and tries to ignore the warmth pooling down at his crotch. “As much as I want to,” he closes the gap and gives Sugawara a slow yet passionate kiss. Just as Sugawara was returning the kiss with much energy, he pulls back, noticing the needy look in the silver haired male’s eyes. “I have to do a few errands later but maybe we can make amends? I want you all to myself, Sugawara.” 

“Yes, please.” Sugawara slid his hands to Kuroo’s thighs. “That’s all I would want.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i haven't written anything like this in a while so please be kind HAHA 
> 
> you can reach me over at @daichistan on twitter!


	3. of cheesecakes and coffee

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The days turn into months yet the Kuroo and Sugawara remain in contact. What they don't realize: the air seems to change.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> been a while, but here we are. been really busy with work, so i hope you enjoy!

The two ended up messaging each other frequently despite their drastic differences in schedule. Not to say that they were in different time zones but with the heavy flow of requirements and deliverables, it was something unexpected. Especially with Kuroo in med school, it was a miracle that he managed to set aside time to message and call Sugawara every so often to talk about anything under the sun. Oftentimes, Kuroo would be reciting things for review and Sugawara would listen and find the processes fascinating. Sugawara thought that was a nice change of pace from all the materials he had to immerse himself in for both his classes as a professor and as a student. Their system was very give and take, with the two of them taking turns and when it was Sugawara’s turn to talk about theories on media and its applications in real life, Kuroo would find himself listening intently.

Of course, this wasn’t the main proponent of this set up. When they needed to de-stress, video chats, sexts, and nudes were exchanged. If they could meet to let off some steam, they would fuck like rabbits. Given this, they agreed on not getting attached to each other outside of the friendship and the sex. Sure, they established that they wanted to get to know each other and that they were friends, but sometimes Sugawara felt himself treading into territory that he should avoid. Luckily, his willpower was stronger than how fragile his heart was.

Oftentimes, he would think of how things would be if he asked Kuroo if he wanted to date and see how things would be in a romantic relationship. On other times, he would wonder if the two of them were already going on dates? Luckily, Sugawara managed to compartmentalize his feelings regarding the entire thing, minus, of course, pleasure. Plus, he thought it was what he needed something like this: a support system and really great sex. He was open to dating; he and Kuroo never really said that they were an exclusive fwb set up but with how busy he would get juggling so many responsibilities at once, he couldn’t go out much to meet other people. 

From eating dinner together, to breakfast, to drinking after weekdays, to even just taking naps in each others’ places. It felt like they were both still college undergraduates and Sugawara was amazed at how he and Kuroo never got close before. As with how they met, they were from the same university after all however, he and Kuroo were in different courses and this meant different schedules. They only talked a few times for class discussions and group works and nothing really outside what was needed for academic requirements. They probably hung out together a few times because of mutual friends, but they didn’t really talk much during those times. 

Here they were, at a coffee shop at around 10 in the evening with Kuroo quietly reviewing and Sugawara reading through the material he was going to discuss with his students a few meetings from that day. It’s been a few hours of them sharing this tiny space together and the two barely talked, however the silence wasn’t tense. If anything, it was relaxing. Kuroo would occasionally be humming a tune he was listening to on spotify and Sugawara would sometimes be quietly reciting the material he needed to present. 

“Suga,” Kuroo had the habit of calling Sugawara now since they’ve been in contact for the past four months, which included the sporadic yet spontaneous hang outs. “You still okay?” He removed his left earbud and looked at the silver haired male who was sitting across him. 

“Mhm?” Sugawara looks up from his readings and smiles at Kuroo. “Yeah, I’m fine. Just kind of tired.” His reading materials were mostly soft copies, but he still had a few print outs spread out on the table alongside his notes, which he was rewriting for his review. Different writing materials, including pens and highlighters were within easy reaching distance. Sugawara’s eyelids were a little droopy and the bags under his eyes were a little more evident this evening.

“Alright,” Kuroo smiles back at Sugawara, a look of fondness and concern glimmering in his eyes. He knew that being a working student wasn’t the easiest thing in the world, especially when one had to deal with students as well. “Just tell me if you need a break; we can order something again if you need sugar to wake yourself up.”

Sugawara blushed; he didn’t think that Kuroo noticed how sleepy he was getting but he nodded at the offer. “Of course! I could tell you the same, Kuroo. Don’t forget to rest. I know med school is really… _whack_.”

Kuroo laughed at this and nodded. 

“Of course, haha. It’s been several years of figuring shit out and winging it, mostly. But swear,” he mindlessly reaches for Sugawara’s hand which was resting on the table. He gives it a gentle squeeze. “Take care of yourself.”

It was a simple gesture yet Sugawara felt his heart leap out of his chest. Why? It wasn’t as if it was the first time anyone held hands with him. It wasn’t the first time someone showed him reassurance either. Kuroo did this pretty often, but why was this particular time enough to have butterflies that were enough to burst out of his body? Maybe it was because he was running on three hours of sleep and he so much to juggle at this point in the semester for both his career and his studies.

“I will.” It comes out a little more than a mumble and Kuroo couldn’t help but hold back a snicker at how flustered the silver male was. 

“You look like you need sleep.”

Sugawara tilted his head a bit at the statement. _Really?_ Med student Kuroo Tetsurou, same Kuroo Tetsurou that was lucky to even get any sleep in the evening, was telling him this. Sugawara’s thoughts were a jumbled mess, hence a statement quickly escaping his lips.

“Are you saying I’m not cute?”

Kuroo couldn’t restrain himself and a laugh escaped his mouth. Without much thought, he brought that hand of Sugawara’s he was holding to his lips. He planted a few soft kisses on the back of his hand. 

“Never said anything of the sort.” He locked eyes with Sugawara, who was now as pink as a peach. “Also, you’re always cute.” He lets go of Sugawara’s hand and sets it down on the table gently. He glanced over at the desk they were occupying, full of notes and readings, and empty coffee mugs and small plates with cake and cookie crumbs. “Let’s go? I feel like you’re about to fall asleep at any moment. ”

Sugawara was about to protest but at the mention of sleep, he felt his shoulders grow heavy. Although he didn’t want to go home yet, Kuroo had a point. He needed to sleep. He was running on two hours of sleep, four cups of coffee, and a lot of sugar. Nodding in defeat, he started packing up his things. Likewise, Kuroo followed suit.

Here they were, Kuroo at the driver’s seat and Sugawara at the front passenger seat. Oddly enough, Kuroo’s car seats felt  _ much  _ more comfortable than usual. Sugawara felt himself melting into them and he was close to falling asleep but his thoughts have been racing. Maybe it was because it’s been a long day? And they weren’t fucking in the backseat?

“Don’t worry if you fall asleep, Suga.” Kuroo started the car and did his usual routine before he drove. “I memorize the way to your place so no worries; feel free to nap. I’ll wake you up when we’re near.”

Sugawara felt the tips of his ears grow warm. Why did he feel like he was a college freshman on his first date? It wasn’t too long ago but the nervousness that he felt at that moment would be on this level. 

“No, it’s fine; I’d rather talk to you, Kuroo.”

Although he was sleepy, Sugawara managed to converse with Kuroo even though the two of them spent the afternoon until evening together. The atmosphere in the car was very soft, he thought. It was something that felt very comforting though maybe the playlist that Kuroo had on the car’s radio was something very calming. He didn’t want this to end. 

Unfortunately, around half an hour later, they managed to reach the driveway of where Sugawara lived. Kuroo parked at a free spot and he turned off the engine. With that, the two were sitting in the silence of his car, the sleepy atmosphere taking over the enclosed space.

“Do you want me to walk you to your unit?” he asked softly, looking at Sugawara’s sleepy facade. Sugawara stifled a yawn. 

“Not unless you want to get bombarded with questions by my flatmates.”

“Your choice regardless, babe.” he tucked a tuft of Sugawara’s hair behind his ear. 

“It’s fine, I can walk myself home.” he shooed Kuroo’s hand away. He didn’t have the energy to retort with his usual and ended up tiredly smiling at him. “The elevator isn’t broken so it won’t be too much of a hassle. Tooru and Keiji are probably not that busy now, so they’re bound to answer. I can call them now too so they open the door for me.”

Kuroo chuckled at this and felt the warmth bubble in his chest. Sugawara radiated this glow and he felt speechless; he was unsure of what this was exactly but he knew he wanted this moment to last. 

“Good night, Koushi.”

Did he really just call Sugawara by his first name? Did he  _ really  _ just do that? Why the  _ fuck  _ did he do that--

_ Oh. _

Sugawara locked his gaze with Kuroo and he could have  _ sworn  _ he saw fondness in the dark haired male’s eyes. Did he hear that right? Was he imagining things?

Regardless of what happened, Sugawara couldn’t help himself and leaned forward, closing the gap between the two of them. The kiss was soft, gentle, and warm; an air of innocence radiated from this shared kiss. Kuroo’s lips were a little chapped but he didn’t mind. 

A few seconds later, he pulled away and grinned at Kuroo. He unbuckled his seatbelt and had his bags ready. Upon opening the car door, he looked back at him and bid him goodbye.

“Good night, Tetsurou.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> feel free to message me or hmu on @daichistan on twitter!
> 
> this was surprisingly a longer chapter than i expected.


	4. makes me nervous

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Oikawa and Akaashi try to get more information from Sugawara over this break.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> my writer's block whack but this was really fun! 
> 
> listen to this for extra feelings: https://open.spotify.com/track/1r5hGK8q4Hl0FMtD5F8P4P?si=ByYELPLmQZ6ZMQ94G0mQnA

The tides finally washed over and all was calm once more. Exams were over and submissions were checked after weeks of excruciating requirements. Sugawara was very thankful that he finally had the time to just sleep. He missed the feeling of having eight full hours of sleep; how did he take this for granted back in college?

Sitting by the table near the windowsill of his apartment, Sugawara was trying to catch up on a few series he meant to watch a few months back. With the sun rays warmly embracing his skin, he felt like a new person. 

Just as he was in the middle of an episode of sense8, he was greeted by the chipper voice of one of his flatmates. 

“Wow, I’m actually impressed,” A rather proud voice pipes from the kitchen. “I’m surprised that you’re actually going out consistently with this boy while managing to keep your emotions in check. It’s as if you aren’t attached like how you normally are.” 

Sugawara looked up from his laptop to see Oikawa on his way to the couch and Akaashi already comfortable on one of the cushions in the living area of their apartment. All Sugawara could think was  _ fuck.  _ Oikawa was right, it’s been just as he said and Sugawara  _ wanted  _ to escape this conversation since this was possibly the perfect leeway for any and  _ all  _ questions regarding this transactional relationship. 

“What do you mean, Tooru?”

“He means you usually catch feelings really fast, Suga.” Akaashi said in a very calm town in comparison to Oikawa’s energy. He said this so naturally while in the middle of eating a snack, not thinking of how this statement would make Sugawara easily so  _ defensive.  _

“I don’t!”

“Sure,” Oikawa laughs and sets the food he prepared on the coffee table before sitting down on the couch. “Says all the dating attempts you’ve had since university, bub.” Sugawara’s cheeks flush into a noticeable shade of peach. 

“I’m not saying that it’s a bad thing; being in touch with your emotions is actually really good.”

“Shut up.”    


Sugawara tried to return his attention to his show but it was difficult with two sets of eyes following his every move. He sighed and closed his laptop, bringing it with him to the couch and sat himself comfortably between his two flatmates. Just as when he was comfortable, he was attacked by another question. 

“You and Kuroo aren’t together yet?” 

“We aren’t even dating. ”

Akaashi and Oikawa exchanged looks. Sugawara rolled his eyes at this-- they could have been more subtle with him between the two of them-- and sighed. He wasn’t  _ lying.  _ He and Kuroo weren’t dating and there was nothing wrong about what he and Kuroo were doing. Nothing wrong at all. 

“Yeah, we just fuck and hang out. ”

Oikawa raises an eyebrow at this and examines Sugawara’s expression. There was something Sugawara wasn’t telling them-- it showed from the little wrinkles in Sugawara’s forehead and how he kept averting his gaze-- but Oikawa wanted to get as much information first. After all, it would be ridiculous to start the hot seat before knowing the fundamentals of what was happening. He sighs and ruffles Sugawara’s silver locks.

“You’ve been at this for a few months, right?” Sugawara nods. Oikawa nods at this and tries to connect the dots. “So, he’s gone through at least two cycles of exams and you’ve already managed to get to the end of an entire semester.”

Sugawara was silent and he shyly nodded at the observation that Oikawa made. Not like he was wrong but if he put it  _ that  _ way then yes, it’s been a while. Months? How was he able to hide so much from his flatmates? 

“What’s up?”

Sugawara felt his walls grow taller. There was nothing  _ wrong  _ with the entire set up, right? He wasn’t setting himself up for heartbreak and pain; it was a very transactional relationship with a lot of hanging out and a lot of sex. Him and Kuroo already established ground rules and boundaries of how this would all go, so nothing would go wrong,  _ right?  _

“Nothing, Tooru.”

“Whatever you say.”

Sugawara instinctively opened his laptop and put on his earphones once more. Just as he was about to put the video on fullscreen, he heard a ping on his notifications but he decided to ignore it. Unfortunately for him, Oikawa peered over to check the new pushed notification at the lower right of Sugawara’s laptop screen. His eyes widened at the message preview.

_ Kuroo: G later? Miss you, angel. _

“What the fuck was that, Suga?  _ Angel? _ ”

Sugawara immediately lowered the brightness of his laptop and covered that part of the screen. His face was once again as pink as a peach. “Shut up!”

Another message.

Kuroo: I miss you.

Sugawara just wanted to watch his shows in peace and instead, he had his nosy flatmate trying to peer into his personal affairs. Not that he minded since this was an everyday occurrence but he  _ really  _ didn’t want to be interrogated in the midst of this flurry of feelings he was very uncertain of. He wanted to just slip under a comforter and never talk about these feelings of his ever again. He just wanted a peaceful semestral break. Why was this all happening to him now? 

Luckily, his other flatmate was very quiet and didn’t think too much of what was happening. 

“Tooru, please calm down. Don’t press Koushi unnecessarily.” He motions as if he was swatting Oikawa away from Sugawara. “He’ll open up when he feels like it.” Akaashi was very concerned as he said this, his brows furrowed. Living with these two chaotic men was enough to make him stressed so someone  _ had  _ to make sure the peace was in order. 

Sugawara sighed in relief and agreed with Akaashi. He shuts his laptop and sets it on the coffee table to prevent any accidents or any more unnecessary snooping. 

“Thank you, Akaashi.” He rubs his temples, hoping to calm himself down. “Like what Akaashi said, I’ll talk about it when I’m ready,” Sugawara exhaled through gritted teeth. “Do you really want me to tell you about my sex life? _Jesus Christ, Tooru_ \--”

“Yes.” His reply was so immediate and prompt. A glimmer was in his eyes and he was hoping that Sugawara would take this as a sign to tell them  _ everything.  _ “But of course, I want you to talk to us about your feelings.”

Sugawara rolls his eyes at how predictable Oikawa was and he held back a snicker. He couldn’t stay annoyed at this guy for too long after all. 

“He’s probably the best I’ve had,” Oikawa raises an eyebrow at this, as if to cue Sugawara to continue. Of course, Sugawara doesn’t cave in and shakes his head. “and I’m not talking to you about my feelings.”

Oikawa heaves a sigh. At least he could say he tried? Regardless, he gently pats Sugawara on the shoulder and gives him a warm smile. 

“Well, you’re going to tell us sooner or later so all I can really say then is, please be careful with your heart.” This warranted a smack on the stomach. That was to be expected and luckily, Oikawa managed to block it just in time. Akaashi chuckles at the two rough housing and offers some of his food to Sugawara to appease him. Sugawara gladly accepts and is satisfied for the meantime. 

“Fuck off, you’re the one who falls the easiest out of the three of us.”

“That isn’t my point, Koushi! All I’m saying is, you know where to go if ever you need anyone to talk to, right?”

“My therapist?"

“Well. Yes, but also, me and Keiji!”

Sugawara rolled his eyes and got his laptop once more, opening it again and setting the brightness level of the screen to something comfortable. As he waited for the video to load, he drew a few circles on the mousepad before speaking up once more. He might as well, right? It wasn’t as if he was living with complete strangers that he couldn’t trust. These two boys were with him throughout all the highs and lows of university and working life. They should know at least a brief summary of it all. 

“Look, I don’t know what I feel about Kuroo but he makes me feel a lot of things. Let’s leave it at that.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you for sticking around! i'm going to explore a kuroo-centric point of view next for this. 
> 
> hit me up on my twitter! @daichistan


	5. drinks on me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Drinking with friends was always fun but for this time around, Kuroo invites his friends over to talk about what’s been happening to him the past few months with all of them around. (part 1)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i hope you guys have been safe during this pandemic! practice social distancing! :( sorry, it's been a while since i've last updated; things have been whack. hope you enjoy this first part update!

“I’m sure you didn’t just invite us here for nothing, Tetsurou. You know it’s my only day off and it’s a little too noisy for my tastes.” Futakuchi piped, stifling a yawn that made its way up to his lips. The brunet was hoping to get some sleep since he was post-duty but he knew that his friend needed him more than ever. It would have been tolerable, however, a certain energetic blonde was being quite energetic, pacing around the condo unit while being Kuroo’s aide with their food and drinks. 

“You know I’m here right, Futakuchi?” Terushima says in almost a sing-song tone. He’s making sure that there are other drinks for those who didn’t want to consume the cocktails. Bokuto was behind the two of them, obviously excited to drink later. 

Futakuchi sticks his tongue out at Terushima, eyes obviously glossed over by exhaustion. Terushima simply laughs. “Swear bro, I’m sure that you’ll be alright once the food gets here.” 

The brunet heaves a resigned sigh. He rubs his temples as he walks to the fridge to get himself a glass of water. While in the middle of downing the drink, Kuroo raises an eyebrow.

“Futakuchi, don’t you trust me?”

“I’ve been with you throughout university  _ and  _ through this hell of med school, Kuroo. I know this is important because if not, I’m really not covering for your next shift if you need to bounce.” 

Kuroo laughs and shakes off Futakuchi’s snark before going to his kitchen counter to mix some drinks for his friends. “Well, valid but you’re in my condo so you might as well go along with my rules for the meantime before I either kick you out or you volunteer yourself to leave.” It was all playful banter so Futakuchi raises a middle finger at his friend with a cheeky smirk on his lips. Kuroo laughs at this and continues to fix the drinks for their odd circle of friends. 

“Tsk, whatever.” The brunet eventually settles on Kuroo’s sofa and starts to make a conversation with Kenma who was setting up the TV and his Switch. Kenma replied with short sentences although the brunet didn’t mind.

Kuroo was the link for the five of them; he and Kenma have been childhood friends and they’ve been together through thick and thin. Kenma was his voice of reason for things like this despite how sharp his tongue could get. Futakuchi was one of Kuroo’s constants throughout college and med school; if anything, the two had some sort of competitive rivalry at the start of their relationship but now, they’ve gotten quite close as friends. Terushima was someone he didn’t expect to get close to; he and the guy have only really talked and interacted a few times in university, but now since Terushima was pretty active in similar circles with him in med school, they’ve eventually gotten close especially because of their frat. Finally, Bokuto has always been there since high school. Even if they were from different schools, their love for volleyball has transcended levels and became the main hook for them to start their friendship. 

Eventually, everything is set and Kuroo and Terushima announce to the group that the drinks are ready. Food eventually arrived fifteen minutes later and everyone was pretty much settled in their respective spots, with Kenma sitting in the corner of the living area on his favorite spot on the sofa, Bokuto on the floor whilst he was fiddling with his phone, Futakuchi leaning against the arm of the sofa, Terushima sprawled over what was worth two seats on the sofa, and Kuroo just leaning against the sofa altogether.

“So, what’s up?” Bokuto was the first to ask, looking up at his best friend with curious eyes. Though he was the one who was normally hyping Kuroo up, he knew that his best friend needed a listening ear more than anything right now. 

“So, I may or may not be experiencing a code yellow.”

Futakuchi raises an eyebrow at this. Bokuto gasps. Terushima is staring at Kuroo with a confused expression on his face. Kenma rolled his eyes and shot a  _ dude-what-the-fuck  _ look at his childhood friend. 

“Someone  _ please  _ enlighten me.”

“Bro, don’t worry. I think Bokuto is the only other person who knows what the fuck that means--”

Bokuto stands up and dramatically places a hand on his chest, seating himself beside Terushima. It legitimately looked like he was offended that his friends didn’t know what this meant. 

“Kuroo’s not sleeping around anymore because he caught feelings.”

Which elicited better reactions from the confused duo. Terushima looked like he was experiencing a huge epiphany and needed to down half a glass of his cocktail and Futakuchi, on the other hand, had a confused smile on his face. He couldn’t process this and ended up stuffing his face with chips.

“Dude,  _ you,  _ Kuroo Tetsurou,” Terushima sets his glass down on the coffee table in front of him. “Have the  _ ability  _ to feel serious feelings for someone.  _ Wow. _ ” Terushima was kidding for the most part, but he wanted to say it anyway to rub it in his friend’s face. Kuroo was notorious for keeping things casual with his flings especially since things were very much hectic in med school. He was very honest and set his boundaries though before anything; he wasn’t the type to ghost. However,  _ serious feelings?  _ Something was seriously up. 

Futakuchi was rubbing his temples and wiped his mouth with the back of his hand. As he was trying to make sense of everything, the puzzle pieces finally fit together. Futakuchi wasn’t entirely sure, but he’s seen enough to make an inference. 

“It’s that gray-haired dude, right?”

“Silver, not gray.”

That of which resulted in the whole room to burst into laughter. Kenma is the first to speak after the laughter was finally dying down.

“Kuroo,” he locks his gaze with his childhood friend’s, sharp brown eyes piercing through Kuroo's entire psyche. “You do know that if you dare hurt Suga, you’re fucked.”

The tone of his voice surprised the three other men and Kuroo could only nod in response. “I know.” he mouths, his voice barely coming out of his lips.

“Oh,” Terushima reviews the information that was just revealed to them. “So his name is Suga? But why the sudden hostility, Kenma?”

“Suga’s friends with my boyfriend, Shouyou. Shouyou tells me about how Suga is like; a lot of people really appreciate and like Suga since he’s a great guy. They look up to him like an older brother or a mentor so I’m sure if you break his heart, you’re going to have to face a lot of shit, Kuroo.”

The mood suddenly became serious and the implications of the consequences if Kuroo fucked this up were looming over the air. Luckily, Terushima and Futakuchi were very much busy trying to connect all the dots and the brunet finally speaks up. 

“Suga… Sugawara?” Didn’t we go to college with him?”

“Yes.”

The puzzle pieces that were supposed to fit manage to only reveal a part of the entire situation. With the revelation, things turn out to be part of an even bigger puzzle. 

* * *

Kuroo manages to lay down all the details with more booze and more pizza. He started from the party where Yaku invited him and where they hit it off, to all the hangouts that were pretty much dates without labels, to all the shenanigans that they were up to for the past few months. This was all in the midst of the five of them eating and drinking alcohol, all of them now at varying levels of intoxication but none of them at the level to be stupidly and horrendously drunk. 

“Dude, are you sure that you want to go steady?” Bokuto asked, his voice very curious to his friend’s answer. 

“I don’t want to hurt Suga. I like him.” he pauses and looks at his phone screen, a picture of Sugawara flashed on the screen. The silver-haired male was in the middle of studying in this photo; his brows scrunched together in concentration and a cup of coffee in his hand. It wasn’t the most flattering photo of Sugawara but Kuroo liked that photo a lot. It was the first time he was made aware of his feelings. “I like him a lot.”

“How long has this been going on?” Futakuchi reached over to the chips on the coffee table once more and hogged it to himself; it wasn’t like his other friends were complaining. 

“We’ve been at it for a few months.”

Terushima nearly spits out his drink in surprise. His eyes widened, although it looked a little silly with the alcohol already in his system. He sets his glass down and stares at his friend, obviously in disbelief. 

“You’re… wow.” He paused trying to process all of the information presented to him. “Okay, it’s going to be weird coming from me but, bro, you’re  _ actually  _ considering to commit.”

“Well, he’s not you, Teru.”

Of course, this elicited an extremely offended look from the blonde male which made Kuroo laugh. 

**“** _ Valid.  _ Anyway, wow? **”**

Kenma pipes up from his spot and looks at his friends. “He’s been at a push and pulls for months if you guys haven’t noticed.”

“I  _ did  _ notice that you’ve been more responsible and studying more at the cost of studying out. Turns out, you were on dates with your fwb?” 

“I mean, getting feelings isn’t  _ baaaad  _ right?”

Bokuto laughs. “It’s not bad. I just, you’ve talked about this though right? You seem to be getting your shit together after all. Just let him know.”

The silence from Kuroo elicited an array of reactions from the group and Bokuto spoke up once more. “Dude, don’t tell me you haven’t thought about this.” Unfortunately, Kuroo could only smile awkwardly as a reaction.

“Tell Suga what you feel, dude. You aren’t gonna get anywhere if you keep pushing and pulling-- you don’t wanna hurt him, right?”

  
Kuroo could only sit in silence. He really needed to get his shit together-- he wasn’t some teenager who was sleeping around in his college years. He was in his mid-twenties and he was tired of acting like he was still 18, running through life, not acknowledging the consequences of his actions. The only question now was, how  _ the fuck  _ was he going to do it? 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you for reading! keep safe! the update will come soon ehe
> 
> hmu on twitter on @daichistan or @kitaswife !!


	6. call a friend

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After a night drinking with friends, Kuroo turns to his best friend, Kenma, for advice.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yes im alive the quarantine is just really tiring. have some best friend h2h talks xo

“Kenma, I know we’ve known each other since we were kids and we’ve been together since then but sometimes I feel weird when I ask you about dating advice because--” 

“I know,” Kenma interrupted Kuroo before he could finish his statement and he waved a hand in front of his face, as if to signal him to not continue. He’s heard the same speech a few times and he wanted to spare himself from hearing his friend ramble about his apprehensions about dating someone else. He knew, obviously, but it wasn’t as if he was dismissing Kuroo; if anything, this way of talking helped the latter calm down and refocus himself. 

“I’m aware we dated and it didn’t work out but I’d be more than happy to help you out. I want to see you happy. Sugawara makes you really happy; it shows. ” A tiny smile was on Kenma’s lips and his words were very genuine despite his monotone voice. 

“You sure it isn’t weird?” Kuroo scratched the back of his neck, avoiding eye contact with the blonde. 

“It isn’t weird. Now go and tell me what’s on your mind before I change  _ my  _ mind and continue playing animal crossing. Those fish don’t catch themselves, Kuroo.”

“How do I deal with this situation, Kenma?” Kuroo heaves a sigh. There was a weight on his shoulders and even if he already told the group all of this that was running on his mind, he was still unsure of what to do. “I know that Suga and I got into this wanting to just be friends with benefits but I really  _ do  _ like him. I don’t want to make shit awkward if I tell him what I really feel about him and turns out he doesn’t see me the same way--”

“Don’t overthink things. He clearly likes you too.”This came out of Kenma’s lips in a very calm manner. No flowery words. No beating around the bush. He was just there to tell it as it was. 

“You get nervous when you talk to him when you aren’t sleep deprived or some level of tipsy or drunk. I mean, sure, you don’t have a filter when you do that but you need to deal with your feelings.” he paused and looked up from his laptop screen to look at his best friend. “You do know that you need to face your apprehensions about your feelings sooner or later, right?”

Kuroo simply scrunched his nose and nodded. Sure, he was the one who was usually telling Kenma about how to take care of himself since he was often awake at odd hours of the day because of his streams and his requirements too but now, Kenma was the one who was telling him to take care of himself. Not like it was out of character for Kenma but Kuroo just didn’t expect for this kind of thing to come at him when he’s been trying his best to distract himself from everything.

“Yeah.”

“So call him, meet with him or whatever. Don’t let your fears hold you back. Didn’t you tell me this before too-- risk it. It’s better to risk it than keep on thinking about what could have been.”

\--

“Kuroo, why are you calling me at 2 AM?” The voice at the other end of the line was tired; Kuroo knew it very well but he didn’t want to press. It was his impulses that drove him to call Sugawara at this hour; this and those words that Kenma told him earlier that evening that were still reverberating in his mind. He didn’t actually expect Sugawara to pick up the call; it was very much late and he knew that Sugawara still had requirements to submit a few hours later.

“Why are  _ you  _ awake and answering my phone call at 2 AM!” 

“Dumbass.” Kuroo practically heard Sugawara roll his eyes. “So, why did you call?”

A gentle pause. Kuroo felt like his heart was going to burst; his heartbeat was so strong against his rib cage. Why was it so hard to explain himself? This impulsive decision was really gnawing at his nervousness; Sugawara was already someone he held so near and dear to him and  _ yet  _ the words he wanted to say were stuck at his throat. 

“I just wanted to hear your voice.”

“That’s gay, Kuroo.”

Laughter was heard from both lines and eventually, it died down and silence enveloped the two of them. Sugawara’s laughter was more than enough to make him  _ weak.  _ Sugawara had this power over him; hearing that angelic voice was more than enough to make his nerves ease up a little. Kuroo wasn’t sure if he was nervous or plain stupid-- it was probably his intoxication, if anything-- but he decided to swallow his pride and just speak. 

“Hey, Suga,”

“Mhm?”

“I’m thankful for you and your existence.” Kuroo couldn’t believe the words that spilled out from his mouth but it was far better than what he originally expected to come out of him. How awkward would it have been if he said everything on his mind? Everything that his heart was yearning to shout to the heavens just for Sugawara to hear? 

But it was okay. He truly  _ is  _ thankful for Sugawara Koushi. 

Just as his thoughts were about to race once more at full speed, Sugawara spoke up, his tone of voice a little bit smaller but happier than earlier.

“Likewise. I’m thankful for you and your existence too, Kuroo.” 

  
Silence was once again on both ends of the line but it didn’t feel heavy. If anything, Kuroo felt himself to be at peace, a gentle smile on his lips. Sugawara Koushi was his favorite part of the day and he wasn’t going to deny it anymore. He liked Sugawara Koushi; he was  _ whipped.  _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i'm glad you guys managed to read through this!! wait up for the next few chapters, i'm working on them :3
> 
> hit me up on twitter on @kitaswife or @daichistan (more active at the former!)


	7. surprise visit

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kuroo makes a surprise visit and shows up at Sugawara's job to cheer him up.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i've been having a lot of fun writing recently! i hope you enjoy reading this :)

Although outside of his initially planned schedule, Kuroo decided to make the trip all the way to the university Sugawara worked. It wasn’t out of the way anyway, plus he’s meant to visit the university’s library for one of his research classes. Thankfully, Sugawara didn’t think of his questions regarding his work as suspicious, so here he was, walking down the halls of the social sciences building. 

“Hey, Sugawara, you have a visitor.” 

Sugawara looks up from the papers he was checking and raises an eyebrow. He wasn’t expecting any students today since he gave them a heads up that today was not a good day for any consultations. He called it a sanity break and his students understood completely.  _ Who the fuck?  _

“Uh, who is it?” he piped from his cubicle, not looking up. He didn’t have the energy to look up; after all, he was already in the zone of checking his students’ papers. No answers were given but Sugawara  _ did  _ hear a pair of footsteps approach his work station. He didn’t want to to bother looking up from his work because he was already in the groove of things.   


“Look, if you’re here to ask for a consultation--”

“Looks like someone’s grumpy. Have you eaten, Suga?”

The voice was smooth; it was familiar and upon the realization of who his mystery visitor was, Sugawara nearly fell out of his chair in surprise. Scrambling to get back his balance, Sugawara tried his best not to look extremely taken aback at this visit.

“How the fuck did you know where my office was?”

“You told me the last time we went drinking, Suga. ”

Sugawara’s cheeks turned to a light shade of peach. Luckily, his colleagues who sat near his cubicle were either out on a break or had class so he was spared of the embarrassment of explaining this entire situation to them. Then again, the department secretary and his other colleagues that were here would probably ask him about who this was and word would get around quickly. 

Kuroo laughed at this and pulled a chair to sit down beside Sugawara. 

“I dropped by the area to go to your extensive library, if you were curious.”

“Wow, so I was an afterthought?”

“Of course not.” There was a pause before Kuroo reached out to hold Sugawara’s hand. Sugawara didn’t protest and if anything, he willingly tangled his hands into Kuroo’s, ensuring that his fingers fit snuggling in the spaces between Kuroo’s. A gentle smile was on Kuroo’s lips and there was tenderness in his eyes as he spoke once more. “I wanted to see you.”

Sugawara felt like he was going to explode; it was only five words but why was he so easily flustered? He wasn’t like this before; how come it was so  _ easy  _ for Kuroo to make him blush? There was nothing  _ different  _ about Kuroo. Same stature with his favorite maroon polo shirt accentuating his shoulders, those dark jeans that hugged his legs so well--

And luckily the smile on Kuroo’s lips broke him out of his reverie. He wasn’t sure how he was going to handle his thoughts if he got aroused at fuck o’clock in his  _ office cublice  _ of all places. He clears his throat and squeezes his hand gently. 

“You should be resting, you know,” he pauses and rubs a circle or two on the back of Kuroo’s hand. “I know you’re busy with your hospital duties and everything so you didn’t have to come visit me.”

“Of course you remember I’m post duty-- but it’s fine. A med student that goes out of their way to see someone after duty, you know what that implies.” The gentle smile on Kuroo’s lips eventually grew into a wider grin which was followed by a little wink. “But it’s a research break today. Prof told us to go and study and yes, I was bound to go out and study anyway but I wanted to see you.” 

Sugawara was suddenly hyper aware of how close they were sitting next to each other and he felt the warmth surge through his body. He wasn’t supposed to feel like this and _yet_ his heart was stuck in his throat.  


“Don’t worry, I know how to control myself and I don’t want you losing your job.” Kuroo was trying his best not to laugh as he said this and gave Sugawara’s hand a gentle squeeze. “I know how much this job means to you even if you whine about your students’ papers quite often.”

Sugawara couldn’t help but laugh at this and simply smiled at Kuroo. It was nice; he felt like he could be himself but was this really  _ fine?  _ Was he really developing feelings over this guy that he’s been sleeping with? 

\---

After what seemed to be ten minutes of figuring out where to eat, the two finally settled on eating outside the university premises. It wasn’t too far of a way, plus Sugawara didn’t have any classes because of his announced free cuts for his respective sections. Additionally, the monthly faculty meeting was done early in the morning so Sugawara wasn’t  _ really  _ required to be anywhere else the rest of the day. 

As the two were making their way out of the university premises, they managed to get on the same page that lunch was outside the university to avoid the hustle and bustle of students in groups and possible ambushes for consultations. Luckily, since the two frequented the area, they were both aware of a small cafe nearby that students often overlooked. Sugawara was off rambling about his workmates while Kuroo was intently listening, a soft smile up on his lips.

Kuroo was more than happy to treat Sugawara to lunch despite the protests and before they knew it, they were at the cafe-- a quaint little space that was a small house repurposed into a restaurant. Because of how it was hidden in a nearby residential area, it wasn’t swarmed with people despite it being a little after lunch rush. 

“How did you find out about this place? I mean, sure, I know about it because of some colleagues but it isn’t somewhere that people usually notice.”

“Mhm, my med school friends tend to go around a lot. Then I remembered it was around the area,” Kuroo ushered Suga to enter the cafe first and followed suit. With the two of them in perfect view of the menu plastered over the cashier's area, Kuroo nudged at the silver haired male’s side. “Now, order what you want to eat. My treat.” 

Sugawara wasn't able to process that right away and a puzzled  _ excuse me?  _ escaped his lips. Kuroo laughed at this and watched how Sugawara's expression radiated with confusion. 

"It's fine. You can get what you want, I'm a nice person."

This statement made it very difficult for Sugawara to fight back a snicker. If anything, the laughter spilled out of his lips, filling the air with a light aura. Kuroo couldn’t help but laugh too; t he way Sugawara’s laugh was music to his ears. 

“You don’t believe me, Suga?”

“I was going to say something but it was a little inappropriate,” Sugawara bit his lip and saw how Kuroo’s cheeks turned into a noticeable shade of peach. “Anyway, I’m good with the spicy tofu combo with lemon tea. Your call if you want dessert. I’ll go get us a seat okay?” Mindlessly, Sugawara gave Kuroo a small peck on the cheek before making his way over to an empty spot near the corner which got a good amount of sun without it being unbearable. 

As Sugawara made himself comfortable, Kuroo took a swift glance at the silver haired male. The way the sunlight was filtering through the window managed to perfectly illuminate Sugawara’s features, making him look very angelic. Just as the cashier was taking note of the orders Kuroo just gave, the smile on Kuroo’s lips radiated with longing.  _ Sugawara Koushi,  _ he thought,  _ why the fuck are you so perfect?  _

“Sir, I’m sorry, I just want to confirm if I have your order right--”

“Oh,” this snapped Kuroo out of his reverie. “Sorry, let me check real quick--” with his vision adjusting to the screen in front of him, he nodded. “Oh, and can you add two slices of mango graham cake?”

The cashier nodded at this and punched the order accordingly. “Alright, sir! Your bill comes to this total.”

Kuroo looked at the screen and nodded, taking out the amount needed and thanked the cashier. 

“Thank you, I have received the exact amount,” as the cashier was going through the motions and gave Kuroo a number, he smiled at the messy haired male. “You really like him, huh?”

Kuroo was a little taken aback by this and a soft chuckle escaped his lips.

“Yes, I like him a lot--" a soft chuckle escapes his lips. "He’s perfect.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you for sticking around! future chapter in the works!! 
> 
> feel free to interact with me over at my anitwt: @kitaswife !! (or over at @daichistan, though i don't visit that acct as often!)


	8. longing and touches

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> a short filler chapter on the physicality of Kuroo and Suga's relationship.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i haven't updated this in a long time, but here's a short, nsfw chapter!

Of course, it wasn’t  _ supposed  _ to be all soft; after all, sex was the primary reason for this arrangement. It felt kind of strange, Sugawara thought to himself. There was this disconnection from feelings of pleasure and his feelings of being taken care of but of course, there was nothing wrong with them. Especially since Sugawara managed to compartmentalize these feelings to begin with-- it made things less messy. 

However, he couldn’t deny that there was a lot about Kuroo Tetsurou that he found attractive. Physically, Kuroo was a conventionally attractive man, but Sugawara thought of so many things he found so charming about him: the way he would have such a smug smirk on his face when he would tease, the way his voice would drag on a little when he spoke, the way his eyes would get all small when he would smile, the way his hands were so gentle but had power-- Sugawara could go on and on with the list of things he liked about Kuroo.

Additionally, Sugawara was  _ a little  _ ashamed to admit it but Kuroo’s technique was one of the things he liked the best about him. Specifically, Sugawara absolutely adored how Kuroo was rough but always had this tenderness in his eyes and touch. Kuroo always made sure that Sugawara was okay and always made him comfortable. 

One might say that this was  _ supposed  _ to be how things should be but Sugawara was vulnerable; he managed to slowly let his walls down.

Sugawara liked it the most when Kuroo kissed him. There were gentle kisses against his lips, tender kisses that trailed from behind his ear all the way down to his navel, there were hungry kisses by his collarbone and neck; of kisses that were marks. Hickeys peppered across his pale skin; on his shoulders, his neck, his thighs, his ass. Sugawara felt so helpless when Kuroo had him under his grasp, feeling his weight against him, his warmth melting in with his own. 

Likewise, Kuroo absolutely adored smothering Sugawara in kisses. It was always fun, he thought, to watch Sugawara squirm and listen to the soft noises that escaped his lips. He liked praising Sugawara; telling him that he adored every part of that beautiful body. From the softness of his hair, to the pout of his lips, to the curve of his neck and shoulders, the pudge of his stomach, the roughness of his hands from all the writing-- he really loved praising Sugawara. He knew the silver haired male deserved it. 

Sugawara also liked it best when Kuroo kissed at the crook of his neck; there was this gentleness and yearning when Kuroo would take his time here. Kuroo’s hands were rather sizable and Sugawara would feel his breath hitch in his throat when those hands were pressed against his neck, choking him just enough for him to feel a little lightheaded. This would be paired with words--

_ “Do you like it here, angel?” _

_ “Moan for me, Suga.” _

_ “Tell me what you want,” _

_ “You want more, huh? Dirty little slut--” _

And at the end of it all, Sugawara would feel content and at ease. Tired, but happy. Most importantly, he felt safe. Safe that he could be himself, that he could bare his most vulnerable self to Kuroo every time they fooled around.

Was it okay to continue like this? To make the most of the comfort of such a setup without getting hurt? Was he  _ just _ setting himself up for pain? 

Sugawara didn’t want to think about it. After all, there was nothing wrong if he kept these feelings to himself-- Kuroo didn’t need to know about them after all. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i promise to keep this fic alive, but I might write something else for the kurosuga agenda HAHA
> 
> feel free to interact over at @kitaswife on twitter!


End file.
